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distributed raman amplifier- (951): Why the fuck do they always...
Published: June 25, 2009
(951): Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
(949): Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
- Behold: Best iPhone Home Screen Ever
Published: June 26, 2009
My Note: ok I'll give that to him. Pretty awesome homescreen
I don’t know whether this is real or fake, and I don’t care. This image (above) purporting to be a one-pose narcissist’s iPhone home screen is redonkulously hilarious. Makes you want to Jailbreak your iPhone, doesn’t it?
Imgur via Gizmodo
- btw went to the Church of Scientology last night. New type of
Published: June 25, 2009
btw went to the Church of Scientology last night. New type of clergy to mess with :)
- #22725 - The Anonymous Hugging Wall in London as part of...
Published: June 25, 2009
My Note: um...no
The Anonymous Hugging Wall in London as part of Keetra Dean Dixon ongoing series METHODS & APPARATI for Social Facilitation and Mood Elevation
(Want more? See NOTCOT.org and NOTCOT.com)
- Anonymous says FML
Published: June 25, 2009
My Note: Wow...just wow
Today, the cops showed up to check out a child abuse complaint, I then had to spend an hour explaining that I had given my son a suppository. The neighbors heard him sobbing hysterically "Daddy, why did you put that in my butt? It hurts." My neighbor had heard and thought I was raping my son. FML
- Bryanna says FML
Published: June 24, 2009
My Note: rofl rofl rofl. New reason to get in shape. So I can pull this on people!
Today, a guy sent me sexy text message that read "Come on over, nobody's home..." so I went over. Nobody was home. FML
- DAILY CIRCLE JERK: POWDER 2 EDITION
Published: June 24, 2009
My Note: watching this when I get home. Better be a joke
Here’s the trailer for Powder 2: Powder to the People. This time… he can party. And turn a keg into a robot. |TimeSuck via IWS|
More stuff:
- TV’s coolest cars. Yeah, Magnum PI had a pretty cool car, but only because it had a bumper sticker that said “My other ride is my mustache.” |Gunaxin|
- Vote for your favorite Michael Bay explosion. It’ll create an explosion in your pants. |ScreenJunkies|
- “Using your belly button as an anus in a tattoo: a gallery.” All these guys like to grip it and rip it, live life with a lot of flair… |HolyTaco|
- Gina Carano chokes a guy out and he passes out on her boob. I think it goes without saying that I’d pay for that. |WithLeather|
- Competitive stats for the Rambo series, including number of bad guys killed with shirt on vs. number killed with shirt off. I’d also like to see the stats for amount of HGH injected. For, uh… personal reasons. |NextRound|
- The weirdest Japanese video games, part 2. |Atom|
- Adam Carolla interviews Ken Jeong from The Hangover, who’s apparently an actual Dr. And don’t worry, they also talk about his penis. |AdamCarolla|
- Skateboard game will have a skateboard controller. Video games one step closer to becoming so realistic that they make themselves unnecessary. |G4|
- The 15 most absurd mustaches in film history. |dailyfill|
- Pff, it’s a pretty good basketball shot, I guess. I like how the girls go to hug him and he completely ignores him to go hang out with the boys. It’s just like High School Musical. |CollegeHumor|
- Spank Bank: Heather Fawcett. |GorillaMask|
- #193445
Published: June 24, 2009
My Note: Most awesome story ever? Ya maybe
<@pomo|wii> So, funny story. I don't know if it's true or not, but according to my public speaking professor, it is.
<@pomo|wii> So, a few people decide to throw a party and decide to inflate a few blow-up dolls with helium to have floating around the house.
<@pomo|wii> Now, everything's going well, until apparently some of these dolls escape into the night sky via an open door/window/something
<@pomo|wii> According to what he told us, a woman a few blocks down saw these dolls and thought that the rapture was occuring, and people were floating away into heaven
<@pomo|wii> so this woman RUNS INTO THE STREET, screaming to be taken with them, only to be hit and killed by a car
- (913): farters have to be the big...
Published: June 20, 2009
(913): farters have to be the big spoon...
- (610): Just once id like a girl to...
Published: June 24, 2009
My Note: Girls shouldn't imitate dudes while messing with you junk. That's just a downer
(610): Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
- (601): Here's my recipe for...
Published: June 24, 2009
My Note: Michael Bay?
(601): Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
- (216): he just texted me two...
Published: June 24, 2009
My Note: This is why I always bring my own toothpaste when I travel
(216): he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
(513): so is it as big as he says?
(216): he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
- (803): I bet the first cavemant to...
Published: June 24, 2009
My Note: Another quote I want on a tshirt or bumper sticker
(803): I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
- Rachel says FML
Published: June 23, 2009
My Note: Wow 20 minutes for handcuffs finally resorting to a hammer? InstructionsStraighten out a paper clipAbout half way bend around your finger to create 90degree curve.About 1/3 of the way bend to 45 degree (maybe a little less)Starting with the 45 side slide under the latch going the opposite way. Push 90 degree bend through the slot. Pull. You are free.Should be able to do this behind your back in no time.
Today, I was at a friend's house when he decided to handcuff me with the pair of handcuffs he had just found. Turns out they were not the kind with the easy release clasp. And he didn't have the key. We spend twenty minutes trying to pick the lock before he broke them off with a hammer. FML
- the_captain says FML
Published: June 23, 2009
My Note: "Whatcha gonna do with all that lube?"
Today, I was cashiering at Target when an old woman came into my checkout line. Her items? Variety pack of pleasuring condoms, a bottle of KY sensual lube, and two colorful thongs. As I'm scanning these, she leans in and whispers, "I love toys." FML
- JK710 says FML
Published: June 23, 2009
My Note: My whole head is going to twitch until I get home to peroxide and qtips.
Today, I discovered that the hearing in my left ear is still good. I haven't been able to hear that well out of it for 2 weeks and I thought I popped an eardrum and waited for it to heal. I stuck a Q-Tip in there to clean it out. Turns out there was actually a dead fly in my ear. For 2 weeks. FML
- Duke Energy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Published: June 23, 2009
My Note: Lot of good points to note.Founded 1904Over 18,000 employeesOver 15 Billion in revenueNew nuclear power plan in SCDon't bring up the EPA stuff :)Embraces future energy tech. blah blah blahEnergy industry will always be stable. It's what our society is based on blah blah blah
- My last text won't go through. So 2 things.
You said "ght itPublished: June 23, 2009
My last text won't go through. So 2 things.
You said "ght it was a prank caller"
What does ght mean?
Also, now that you have your omnia do you get your emails to your phone? If so you should just email me @databit instead of texting. I get email at my desk or on my phone. (company doesn't restrict gmail)
- Vegan? Carnivore?
Published: June 23, 2009
My Note: love this image :)
- Yikes: Sharks Hunt Like Human Serial Killers
Published: June 23, 2009
My Note: Haha ya. Sometimes he's a clever guy.On another note. This is exactly why I don't mess around in remotely potential shark waters.
A recent study conducted by a group that I can't believe received funding for the
project has determined that great white
sharks hunt like human serial killers. Get a load of this
freakishness:
The sharks feeding at Seal Island could have just hovered right where the seals congregated if they were random killers-of-opportunity, Hammerschlag said. But they weren't.
The sharks had a distinct M.O.
They were focused. They stalked from a usual base of operations, 100 yards from their victims. It was close enough to see their prey, but not close enough to be seen and scare off their victims. They attacked when the lights were low. They liked their victims young and alone. They tried to attack when no other sharks were around to compete. They learned from previous kills.
And they attacked from below, unseen.
Okay now I'm a little creeped out. And not just because there's a great white peeking through my bedroom wind....ZOMG THERE'S A GREAT WHITE PEEKI
*glass shatters* OM NOM NOM NOM HOLY SHIT HE'S EATING MY FOOT! OH GOD HELP -- IT'S UP TO MY KNEE! OH NO, OH NO HE'S GOING FOR MY PENI....oh, choked to death.
Great white sharks hunt just like Hannibal Lecter [yahoonews]
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